so, i'm cleaning up my FB, in anticipation of other things...
here's my notes:
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this life - fri, may 27th, 2011
this life i'm living,
i wonder if it's for me?
when i was younger,
i was living for my family.
when i thought i'd grown up,
i married a beautiful lady,
and we raised wonderful kids,
and again, it was for my family.
now the kids are grown,
and the wife and i split up,
lovers i've had, and left, and lost,
and i wonder... have i yet grown up?
will i lose my fear and excuses someday?
and wander out into the cold night air,
looking up at the stars and wondering,
is this all that there ever was for me here?
- - - - -
cleaning up - wed, jan 19th, 2011
she entered my life,
and her smile and words played a tune in my head.
slowly my heart began to beat to the music...
and a fire was lit.
with every touch and every shared breath,
that fire soared, burning when we touched...
and then she left,
and the tune kept playing,
and that fire kept burning and burning...
it's just me again,
and i have a mess to clean up,
fire blackened rooms and broken strings.
- - - - -
neil gaiman quote - nov 16th, 2010
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain..."
~ Neil Gaiman
( author of The Sandman comic )
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lucky - sept 20th, 2010
call me lucky.
i have people in my life who love me.
and i've loved many of those who passed thru.
friends, and lovers, and those who turned out to be neither.
and i've been lucky enough to be "in-love" a few times.
even though that kinda thing seems to fade with time.
each time i got a little hurt when it ended,
but i didn't want that to stop.
cuz the hurting was good.
in it's own way.
and luckiest of all, i connected with someone, recently, body-mind-heart-&-soul.
she connects to me in all the ways that i think are important between two people.
and that seems like a rare treasure to me...
call me lucky.
- - - - -
clear - nov 3rd, 2009
one thing is clear to me, that a morality which produces guilt, self-torture, and shame, which results in anxiety and weakness, which shortens and belittles life, cannot be the answer...
- tarl of bristol
(actually from a book character)
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~t