happy holiday

relatives in town, all sides of the family(s), working, no soccer this week, sigh.

questioning myself again

okay, picked up a book a few weeks back at bookmans (discount bookstore), and i hadn't actually read it, but thought it might interest me. How to Find the Work You Love (or something kinda close to that). anyway, it had this section on focusing questions, the first of which is: in your current position, who are you pleasing? your parents? your wife & kids? or yourself? another: are you working there becuz it's easy, it pays the bills, or becuz you love it?
good questions.

my answers (today, they change):
software career: pleases my dad
bio major: was easy to complete
cs minor: please my dad
job$: please(d) my ex (some of that story is in my blog, @see cabinetwork)

the book also emphasizes talents over skillz, fair enough. but, how do you identify true talents from things you just did? like, in 4th grade i was pulled into special art, and for a couple of hours a day, all we did was paint, draw, sculpt, etc. and i had a blast - but is that talent? or luck? - lol.

then, in eighth grade, my homeroom teacher volunteered me for the school spelling bee, she said i had a talent for it - i said no initially, but when i was informed politely that my grade depended on it (i have no idea why she decided that form of coercion would work on me), i acquiesced (sp?) gracefully... long story short, i threw it, came in 2nd behind an enthusiastic 6th grade girl, and forever became known for misspelling H A R M O N I C A = as: harmica...

;)

final game of the fall season - lost

lost, i say. slaughtered, in fact.
but, once again, we had a very fine moment, a glorious moment, a goal! and my son got the assist, on a sweet pullback move, and a beautiful lead pass, to one of the forwards, who took off with it, evaded 3 defenders, and blew it into the corner of the net... aaaaaahhhhh WOO !!! (me screaming, both hands in the air)

so, we end the first season with 5 goals to our credit, and 67 against.

shush. i'm happy we scored.
:)

something i sent myself

a little note i emailed myself the other day:
- - - - -
last nite, after my soccer board-meeting, we discussed new orleans for a bit.

one of my fellow board-members is an emergency response worker for a major corporation,
and he has been out there several times now, for extended periods of time.
a brave man, among many brave souls out there trying to help.

he described the nightmare that is new orleans now.
personal belongings littering the highways.
people living in newly-bought trailers & tents in the yard next to their home.
almost of a foot of toxic sludge (not mud) making the house unliveable.
dead animals (pets & gators) rotting, bloating, and exploding in the streets.

where is the media and government now? where is the public eye?

it's been twelve weeks and we are watching "desperate housewives" again,
and we have forgotten that those people are living in desperate situations.
very desperate.

fuck.
- - - - -

once again, fuck.
:|

simply: thanks.

to my cousin mike: thanks.
to my dad: thank you, too.
to all the vets, from all the wars, thanks.

i wouldn't have what i have, if my choices had been different, or fate hadn't stepped in. same with you, and yours.

thanks.

blikis, birds, & bush

eh, not that i'm totally interested in those 3 B's, but i'm kinda out of steam at the moment. me and the twins are at the coffeeshop, so THEY can check their email... lol, which i found to be hilarious, and touching, at the same time...

A is for ASCII, as in this cool ASCII Art Generator.

B is for Bliki.
(and i like blogs and wikis, so i might go that route)
ie. see martin fowler's...

B is also for Birds and Bush, as in bird flu pandemic. (personally, i think there is some misdirection/misinformation going on at this point, in order to steer us cows away from the CIA/W.House flap).

C is for CIA, which Dubya's House has alienated. Or, at least it appears that way... Wasn't Senior the CIA Director at some point? (Under Ford) Interesting that that link says he was known for Secrecy and Disinformation, and as an Outsider. Funny!

C can also be for Chicken Little, which we went to see last nite. Recommended. (if you have kids) - Disney not Pixar, sigh.

you don't want to get what you want?

so, can't figure my attitude out. i'm lonely. but i don't want to meet anyone? i'm apathetic, yet i have this weird energy and i can't sit at home and do nothing. wth?

had some dinner, then came to the coffeeshop, and sitting here with absolutely nothing to say. how about some random thoughts or crappy philosophical meanderings?

where is the karma train, and why is it late?

you don't want to get what you want, and what you want you won't get?

desiring something drives it further from your grasp, practice no desire, no mind.

appearing aloof and acting sarcastic gets you attention from strangers.

wonder if i have a fever?
:(