day 3

yesterday was a rest day, altho i did some HeS legraises - 3x3
talk about a beeyatch!  ow ow ow x 3

day 3 workout:

WU x 3 rounds
a. static support x 30sec
b. static cheating BL x 30sec
c. static cheating FL x 30sec
( cheating means my feet are on the ground, lol )

Ring CU 3 sets of 5  ( feet on 10" box )

Ring Dips 3 sets of 5 ( feet on 15" step )

bent arm support on rings 3 x 15-20 secs
( more ow ow ow )

HS (belly against the wall) 3 x 30secs

day 2

so, yesterday was day 2 of my new program...

really had fun with it, although i got distracted by Skyrim, after my 1st set of lunges.

Doh!

anyways, here was the workout:

WUx3rounds
a. static hold x 30sec
b. static tuck BL x 30sec (cheating w feet on ground)
c. static tuck FL x 30sec (cheating)

HS - 3x30secs (back to wall)

DL - 5x5 - all weight (all i have, and it's still light)

AL - 1x10 ( should have done 3x10 )

- used 25lb KB in each hand

Rings

got my rings in the mail yesterday, set them up and goofed off a little...

JEEBUZZ!  just trying to support is so hard i was shaking!

:)

my basic 4-day-a-week plan: (still need to figure out sets/reps):

WU:

a. static hold x 30sec

b. static tuck BL x 30sec

c. static tuck FL x 30sec

day 1:

- WU

- chinups

- dips

- handstands

day 2:

- WU

- DL

- lunges

- HS

skipday...

day 3:

- WU

- CU

- dips

- HS

day 4:

- WU

- DL

- lunges

- HS

weekend...

bullseye!

this article hits the bullseye!

i wish every HR dweeb in the nation would read it...

 

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204422404576596630897409182.html

 

google+me!

i read an article the other day about Google+,

that basically said it "could" take the place of

all the other mediums of online communication.

email, chat, blog, and f*$%book - all replaced.

now, i don't know that this is true,

but, that would be a good thing right?

i mean, for those of us who spend some

significant amount of time doing those things.

so, give it a try...

i am.

google+me!

;)

seemingly disjointed nonsense

just thinking...

 

life in America today is a bit surreal.

we are slowly walking into a barren valley, which we can't see the other side of.

as we look around, we see many others walking, some fall, and some stop to help the fallen.

but most just keep walking, thinking that they have to keep going, to keep moving.

and not quite knowing why...

 

can anyone see the carrot?  can they feel the stick?

are our leaders prolonging the sickness, so they can maintain their position?

if it's a game, what are the rules again?

they seem to keep changing...

 

bondage > truth > courage > liberty > abundance > greed > complacency > apathy > dependance > bondage

where are we now?

 

what do you use to hide your unhappiness?

music? tv? drugs? alcohol? sex? games? work?

 

what do you do to make this world, or your community, healthier?

what would you do?

what can you do?

 

what was the fate of the commoner in every other resolution thru-out history?

think.

 

Tytler

 

favorite quotes

my fav quotes...

"life does not accommodate you, it shatters you. it is meant to, and it couldn't do it better. every seed destroys its container or else there would be no fruition." 
- Florida Scott-Maxwell

"the cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea."
- Isak Dinesen

"there is always some madness in love.,
but there is also always some reason in madness."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

"whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."
- Henry Ford

"most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." 
- Abraham Lincoln

"it always works out in the end.  if it's not working out, it's not the end."
- Anonymous

Notes

so, i'm cleaning up my FB, in anticipation of other things...

here's my notes:

- - - - -
this life - fri, may 27th, 2011


this life i'm living,
i wonder if it's for me?
when i was younger,
i was living for my family.

when i thought i'd grown up,
i married a beautiful lady,
and we raised wonderful kids,
and again, it was for my family.

now the kids are grown,
and the wife and i split up,
lovers i've had, and left, and lost,
and i wonder... have i yet grown up?

will i lose my fear and excuses someday?
and wander out into the cold night air,
looking up at the stars and wondering,
is this all that there ever was for me here?

- - - - -
cleaning up - wed, jan 19th, 2011


she entered my life,
and her smile and words played a tune in my head.
slowly my heart began to beat to the music...

and a fire was lit.
with every touch and every shared breath,
that fire soared, burning when we touched...

and then she left,
and the tune kept playing,
and that fire kept burning and burning...

it's just me again,
and i have a mess to clean up,
fire blackened rooms and broken strings.

- - - - - 
neil gaiman quote - nov 16th, 2010

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain..."

~ Neil Gaiman
( author of The Sandman comic )

- - - - - 

lucky - sept 20th, 2010

call me lucky.

i have people in my life who love me.
and i've loved many of those who passed thru.
friends, and lovers, and those who turned out to be neither.
and i've been lucky enough to be "in-love" a few times.
even though that kinda thing seems to fade with time.
each time i got a little hurt when it ended,
but i didn't want that to stop.
cuz the hurting was good.
in it's own way.

and luckiest of all, i connected with someone, recently, body-mind-heart-&-soul.
she connects to me in all the ways that i think are important between two people.
and that seems like a rare treasure to me...

call me lucky.

- - - - - 
clear - nov 3rd, 2009

one thing is clear to me, that a morality which produces guilt, self-torture, and shame, which results in anxiety and weakness, which shortens and belittles life, cannot be the answer...
- tarl of bristol
(actually from a book character)

- - - - -
~t

i dreamt of surfing

i dreamt of surfing this morning.

 

a huge wave took me away from where i started,

going along the shore, rather than to it.

i passed alot of other people, who seemed to be still.

 

suddenly i found myself facing backward, looking where i'd come from.

then, the wave threw me up really far onto a new shore.

i picked up my board, confused, and walked over to a desk

where there were some "instructors" talking.

 

i asked them where i could buy some jeans to wear,

and how far i was from "kua" where i'd started,

and they just laughed. 

 

they said i was still on the same island, just at "kuala"?

and really far away, and that i could catch a bus back.

last thing i remember was walking back to the ocean...

 

good dream!

:)

Soulmate

this idea of a Soulmate has to end.

nobody else can hold up your world but you.

and no one is going to fix all your problems, or heal all your wounds.

 

there is just way too much emphasis on the "magic" happening.

magic is an illusion, relationships take work, period.

 

i'm not against the idea that we can create a soulmate.

it just means that each of us can work on our relationships,

making them stronger, and more fun, and successful.

but it takes hard work.

 

i'm also not against the idea that you can create soulmates in most relationships.

we just have to be happy and strong, and meet other happy, strong, loving people,

and choose to build a great friendship, relationship, marriage, or whatever.

 

and i could be totally wrong, of course.

maybe it is soul energy?

or maybe it's just basic chemistry?

;)

 

diet

well, i felt i was pretty successful following the slow-carb diet,
lost 20 lbs and gained some muscle.

and now, i'm re-introducing some carbs back into what i eat.

a couple of things that started bugging me on the slow-carb, were my joints and circulation, which could be coincidental of course, but my joints started hurting, and my pinky fingers and toes get numb.

so, i have been having oatmeal for breakfast this week,

and i mixed brown rice in with my blackbeans and brocolli last night.

not sure how this experiment will bloom, but there you go.

this is somewhat in response to seeing the movie ForksOverKnives this weekend.

not that i want to cut animal products totally out,
but leaning a bit more "plant-strong".

i'm still at about 197 lbs, and feeling pretty muscular and lean.

( not huge and cut, lol, just in good overall shape )

just...wow.

47 today. 
seems...just...wow.

Old Notebook

found an old notebook when i was looking for something to take notes on, for the soccer board meeting the other night.  it was from 1999, which seems like a very long time ago, but isn't.

the notebook was for a class i was taking: "Your Hearts Desire".
which, as i remember it, was a very fun class for me at the time.
( i was newly separated at the time, the first one )

so, basically, nothing has changed!

i am still searching for whatever it is i would have passion for.
still looking for the lady who will love me as much as i love her.
and still trying to get back into doing something artistic.

not sure how i feel about that.
this i will ponder and perhaps dream upon...
:-/

2nd petscan = all clear

Dr. called friday, results from my 2nd petscan are all clear.
yay!

unreadable

that other format sucked! 

 sorry...

/facepalm

and this one is just ... so ... vanilla.
:P

obligatory cheezball pics

okay, i've been kinda following the four hour body book
for eating and working out. and, i've seen some success :)

here are a few obligatory cheezball pics, showing my progress...

ready? put on those safety goggles!


before:

that's me sometime in nov. of 2010, at about 220 lbs.


and after:

me at 195 lbs.


and i think i'm gonna try putting on a little muscle now...
:)))


boooyaaaa!
jk ;)

thoughts

i wasn't really thinking about blogging today. but i was thinking about this past weekend, and some of the things that happened. nothing that i would call an epiphany, but definitely insights into how i've been feeling.

you know, the whole "my heart is broken" thing :)

it's not that i'm past it, and i'll probly have a few drunken nights wallowing in it again. ( like 2 weeks ago last friday, lol )

but, i think i'm having some clarity, and alot of acceptance now.
not that it is important to anyone but me.

friday and saturday were desperately lonely for me.

and before i met her, i wasn't what i would call lonely.

alone yes, but i had settled into a routine, with my kids, and other stuff of my life. i was a bit cluttered, and my abode reflected that, and still does. but the first 2 days of the weekend, i was seeking someone to distract me from my loneliness, and i texted and called quite a few people.

and nobody, absolutely nobody, was available. few even answered.

it was like my phone and email were blocked. lol, dang universe.

so, after those 2 days, i kinda looked at myself, and thought "that's enough".

time to accept what the universe was showing me, once again.

"be comfortably alone, and know that you are not truly alone"

loneliness is thinking you are missing something, that you have an empty spot inside.

some people fill that with "stuff", drugs, religion, sex, whatever... but, i haven't. well, occasionally, but not too often, and it's not my "pattern". ( don't get me wrong, i DO obsess. my monkeymind goes bananas pretty often )

sunday was fantastic, got to play futsal with friends from the soccer club.

gave my old sambas to a kid, so he'd have "soccer shoes" for next week.

then us oldmen went to the mancave and had a couple beers.

then, since it was my "cheat day", i went and had blueberry pancakes.

( and continued cheating most of the rest of the day )

end result: not healed, but healing...

and i think my head's back in the "right" place for me.

i can accept that she doesn't want me in her life, and i can still love her.

and i know that whatever the universe has planned for me, is a good thing.

cuz i've always believed that things happen for a reason.

other women will match my "shortlist", and fate will place our feet to meet.

intelligent, well-read, athletic, spiritual not religious, and truthful.

likes movies and a great BLT, lol.

and i started "decluttering", which was my new goal, 5 minutes a day!

:)

MoveOn dot org petition

here is an interesting link:

 

"Corporations aren't people, and shouldn't be able to corrupt our democracy.

We need as many state legislatures as possible to get behind the call for

a constitutional amendment to reverse the Citizens United ruling."

 

courtesy of george at urbansurvival dot com... ;)

 

fire and music: cleaning up...

she entered my life,
and her smile and words played a tune in my head.
slowly my heart began to beat to the music...

and a fire was lit.
with every touch and every shared breath,
that fire soared, burning when we touched...

and then she left,
and the tune kept playing,
and that fire kept burning and burning...

it's just me again,
and i have a mess to clean up,
fire blackened rooms and broken strings.

happy new year

goodbye 2010, hello 2011.